You know Subway how it can be – you put up with horribleness from something for a certain time. You weigh up the horribleness against the good things and shut up. But suddenly some little thing brings the whole thing down and suddenly there’s only sullen hate left. Well that’s how it is with you right now Subway.
We’ve had it. There’s late or cancelled trains, huge crowds at peak times, the temperature on the station or the train is never right, there’s manspreading, smelly food, backpacks in your face, never ending repairs, the rats, the grime etc, etc, etc. and suddenly Subway we are done! See how pesky and awful people have gotten about you Subway with this video of Tom Hanks manspreading. I mean it wasn’t that bad but hey notice how in the video Mila Kunis has her legs neatly crossed and those 2 guys, James Cord and Tom Hanks don’t. And you’re to blame Subway for blatant space inequality because you’ve let manspreading happen for so long without comment, then you suddenly campaign against it and now we notice it more!!
And that’s it Subway everything is now your fault. There’s a deluge of horrible Subway stories. The poor women who just died when she did what everyone else does, even if it is illegal, and tried to move from one carriage to the other then fell and on the tracks with disastrous results. And then another woman, (how anti-woman are you Subway?) whose hair was eaten by the L train because the train she boarded was so crowded she couldn’t get her hair inside and the train door shut on it.
So you’re stopping people from getting to work, from getting home at night when they’re exhausted, you’re fostering intimate and very crowded relationships with fellow passengers that no one signed up for, you’re dangerous, you eat hair, people fall off you, in front of you and heavens knows what will happen next.
The trouble is we can’t divorce you Subway. The cab fares would be ruinously expensive. So clean up your act. Get rid of all the grime and rats, behave like the Paris Metro, that’s clean and rat free. Get more trains and run them on time. DO SOMETHING! Right now we can’t live with you and we can’t live without you. And Governor Cuomo, none of the above will happen without you putting in the $billions needed. Do you really, really want poor old NYC subway to grind to a halt, governor because we warn you it’s nearly there.