We have Sean Penn and Charlize Theron to thank for most people knowing about ‘ghosting’, the process of just vanishing from the digital world inhabited by your partner, ex partner, casual hookup…whatever.
Damn, you think you’ve learnt all the NYC dating moves and then technology comes along and in the blink of an eye, new excruciating technologically enabled rituals are now part of the process.
Then there’s benching, laybying and tuning all variations on the “I’m here but not really here” way of relating enabled by the capacity to connect via texting which kind of suggests intimacy while making it impossible.
There is only one way to climb out of the “Is s/he really interested in relating to me?” dilemna. Suggest a quick coffee catchup, somewhere very public and for a short time (you’re busy after all) and this catchup is a very light no obligation deal. And then it’s 3 strikes and they’re out if someone won’t even meet you for a quick no obligation coffee they are not interested.
You see technology offers the relating by distance option, which isn’t dating at all. The antidote to distance is a quck coffee. Not only is it a nice catchup for you both but refusing a quick coffee catchup lets you know this person is into distance and possibly control. It has to be on his/her terms or they won’t play.
No, you don’t need to date someone like this, you’re worth more. If you’re not worth the effort of meeting for a quick coffee catchup ditch them